Splatoon 2

… or as they should have titled it, Spla2oon.

Before Splatoon 2, I’d only ever admired inklings from the strange, mildly creepy distance of my tumblr dashboard. I never got to know the joys of being both kid AND squid, so when I got my Switch I immediately knew I had to get my hands on this joyous, messy shooter title. About a week ago, they opened a “Splatfest” for all to try, free to play. To put it simply, it was a demo. You went in, chose a team – Cake vs. Ice Cream – and fought in turf wars (where you color the map with as much of your own ink as possible), while testing out the first tier of unlockable weapons. The biggest downside? In nearly the 3.5 hours I played the demo, I fought against Cake three times. The best part? I didn’t care! Even though most of my rounds were Ice Cream vs. Ice Cream, it totally didn’t matter, because it was a bunch of people gathering to test out this amazing game coming to this amazing console and generally having an amazing time.

Now, Splatoon 2 has been out for about a day and I’ve had a hard time focusing on much else in the time, albeit limited, I’ve had to play. I’ve gotten myself all the way up to level 6 (which, trust me, is no small feat!), already gotten to playing around with weapon styles I’m not familiar with outside of Inkopolis, and I’ve gotten myself into a multiplayer game that I actually enjoy. I HATE multiplayer unless I’m with friends. On a couch. I barely tolerate couch co-op, come to think of it. Splatoon completely turns that on its head, and I get to play quick rounds with strangers, say goodbye, and move on to the next group of 7 strangers.

There is a hectic, horde-like “wave” game called Salmon Run, where you kill wave after wave of seriously creepy looking salmon things (Salmonid?) either with friends or, if you don’t have those “friends” things, strangers. Stranger Things. It gets crazy and you have to collect roe for points and get at least a certain number of special “golden roe” to a net before the time runs out. Oh, and you have to survive. They wield cast iron pans and if you’ve seen Tangled, you know that the proper person (or Salmonid) can be deadly with some cast iron. Either that or they’ll just cook something dubious in the pan. Don’t mess with them.

Another delightful surprise to the game was the ranked matches! They start at level 10, so I don’t know terribly much about them, but I’m excited to hit 10 and start playing. I’ve never done anything like that before, so I know I’m going to be shocked with how bad I *really* am.

Between Turf Wars, Salmon Run, the oh-so-familiar Octo Canyon, the miiverse art hilarity, and future ranked matches… well, you may never see me again. You might not recognize me. Am I a kid? Am I a squid? Are we human? Or are we Dancer?

Are you enjoying Splatoon 2? Are you avoiding it at all costs? Do Salmonids creep you out? Let me know in the comments!

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